Alice, for a time

 Below is an introduction of sorts, and past it a poem I wrote almost 10 years ago.

There once was a girl who came to the world and knew immediately that it was good. She basked in the fresh morning sunlight, marveling at the world's undeniable brilliance. Its richness professed wisdom, its beauty implied safety and the promise of knowledge and experience beckoned her with an unceasing intensity. She trusted this world instantly... and implicitly. 
Intuitively understanding that she'd never have enough time to know and love it as fully as she yearned, she got busy devouring all there was to see, hear, feel and do with a heated hunger that lit her with purpose.

Soon she discovered that there were rules for how to love this good world and those rules were somehow already inside of her. She listened to them, learned from them, and love love loved. She gifted the world with insatiable adoration and in return, it proffered a mirrored abundance - beauty, richness, and so much love. Theirs was a charming little romance.

But. The world held secrets from the girl about parts of itself, slipping only glimpses of a depth beneath the surface.  Instead, it painted her view the loveliest shades to distract her from the shadows; cloaking itself in color, hoping she'd never seek the darkness - hoping to satisfy this girl it loved so dearly. Unsurprisingly, the more her curiosity was thwarted, the more she thirsted to explore. She had promised herself and this marvelous world that she wouldn't squander a single moment of their time together. She was certain that she must know it fully in order to love it fully.

She implored those near to reveal these hidden places but, having spent their lives indoors, they were afraid of the dirt. "No need for discovery in fresh air - we have a fine view through the glass." They held out clean palms. "See? No need to touch the earth, embrace or understand it. That urge is a dangerous one." They forced her head towards their windows. "Look but don't touch, suppress, repress...  In this there is safety and peace." 
She tried... but their rules contradicted the ones inside of her. As her love for the world won out, she began asking for aid from strangers. "Take my hand, lead me to the places I know nothing of; the places I've never been," she'd beg.  "Show me the shadows, the darkness, the hidden, the deep, so that I can love the world in it's entirety." She believed every inch of it was worthy of such love. Every inch.

Alice, For A Time
By Lauren Horsley


When the world behind the glass
Began to blur into surreal
He ran by - I up and  followed
Urgency implied appeal

In a flash of white and watches
He enticed me Down
                           Down
                              Down
Promised worlds of vibrant color
So alive I'd nearly drown

Letting go, I danced and laughed
Allowing rules to twist and spin
Then I wandered through the forest
On the hunt for him again

Once I stopped to ask directions
They could see I had no one
Took my hand in taunt and twirling
Round in circles, had their fun

Flowers sang and men smoked hookas
Flashy teatime tables set
Madness seemed to be so freeing
For these friends I'd never met

But I could not truly join them
He refused to leave my mind
Faster, faster through the mazes
Never knowing I would find

That this chase can have no ending
When a man has disappeared
In the heart of the White Rabbit
Soon it ended as I'd feared

I returned to sane and safety
Barely dented from the ride
Left him in that haze of horror

One week later, my friend died.